Leadership Lessons from Confucius: body language

Zixia said: “An exemplary person has three different aspects: from a distance, they look stern; close up, they look warm; when you hear their voice, they sound serious.”
子夏曰：「君子有三變：望之儼然，即之也溫，聽其言也厲。」

What kind of impression do you convey to other people when you enter a meeting or reception? Do you stride in radiating confidence and good humor? Or do you sneak in hoping that nobody else notices you as if you feel you do not deserve to be there?

Body language is just as important as the spoken variety. If you have a positive and cheerful vibe around you, other people will be more likely to talk and listen to you. If you appear anxious and reluctant to engage, they will be more likely to shy away from you.

Exhibiting the appropriate body language is difficult for most people. It takes practice, not to mention courage, to project confidence and warmth — particularly when you have to attend an event where you do not know anyone else at all. But the harder you work at, the easier it will become.

It also helps to remember as you struggle to strike up a conversation with someone you meet at a party that they are probably just as nervous as you are — if not more so.

Notes

This article features a translation of Chapter 9 of Book 19 of the Analects of Confucius. You can read my full translation of Book 19 here.

(1) See 7.37 for a description of Confucius’s demeanor:

“Confucius was gracious but serious; commanding but not severe; respectful but at ease.”

In 7.36, Confucius says: “An exemplary person is calm and at ease; a petty person is anxious and on edge.”

I shot this image in a hillside temple on the Four Beasts near to Taipei.